Keeping our Word

I don’t know if its me, or if it is a newer trend, but I’ve noticed over the past few years that there has been an uptick in people not keeping their word. It could be something as simple as not showing up when someone said they would, arriving later without notification, or worse, not showing up at all. Perhaps its because people have gotten too busy to remember and follow through on all their obligations. Or maybe people are simply overcommitting when they know they can’t possibly make it to everything they said they would. I’d like to think its not the worst case scenario of people just being assholes, saying one thing and doing another (although I have witnessed it on a few occasions over the past few years). Regardless of the reason why people don’t keep their word, stick to what they said they would do, and follow through with it, its an act of disrespect in its most basic form. I was taught from a young age to follow through on what I said I would do, show up on time to any obligations I have, and even more simply, show up when I said I would show up. Its not that hard to do this simple thing and its showing respect for other’s time and trust when we follow through and keep our word.

Why am I bringing this up today? There are a couple of reasons that come to mind. The first involved my son who about a month ago, planned and executed his Eagle project for Scouting, one of the last items he has on his list in order to attain the coveted role of Eagle scout. During that process, he planned the entire project, got signatures from those he needed, sourced materials, and got volunteers to show up. My wife and I helped a little with reaching out to some adult scout leaders we know to see who could help. It was a simple ask with literally no pressure to show up. Many who said they would show up did, but there were a few, a some who I respected, that said they would be there and when the day came, without notice, they never came. Our son didn’t know about these few people, but I did and it got under my skin. Talking to my wife later, I mentioned that I can’t believe so and so didn’t show up when they said they would. Granted, something could have happened that prevented them from coming, but at the very least, reach out and let us know your not going to make it. They didn’t even do that. If you can’t make the commitment or are unsure if you will be able to go, don’t say you’ll be there. Its quite simple. Say what you will do and follow through with it.

The other instance, and this happens every year to my wife and I, regards our annual summer BBQ. Every year, for more than 15 years now, we have hosted a summer BBQ for friends and family. Every year, we think we know who is going to show up based on responses, and every year there are a handful of people who say they will be there and then don’t show up. Its trivial, its minor, and at the end of the day its no big deal, but when we are planning the amount of food we need to get ready, the amount of meat we need to cook, we rely on the responses we get. This year was no different, we expected more people to show up than actually did, so we had a lot of extra food, but at the same time, it allowed me as the host more time to talk to those that were there, many of them close friends. So was this a big deal? No, but I still noticed and there was still a small part of me that was a little taken aback. Yet those that showed up had a good time as did I and we now have extra food for the week and less to cook in our busy schedules. Part blessing? Yes, but it doesn’t absolve those that didn’t show up without saying anything.

As for me, I live by the mantra, “If your not early, your late”. Consequently, I also don’t commit to doing something that I can’t follow through on. There have been a handful of times when I have been late, but if that’s the case, I always reach out and inform people that I will be late and why. Its common decency. At least the showing up early part I know I have instilled in my son. For almost everything he needs to be at, he likes to arrive 10-15 minutes early, earlier in fact than I would probably show up, but I don’t stop him. I ask him when he would like to be somewhere, he tells me, and I make sure that happens. Its not just about missing out, its not just about showing respect to those you are showing up for, but its about taking life by the reins and making sure you get the most out of every opportunity. The saying also goes, the early bird gets the worm. By showing up early, you never know who you may meet, the opportunity that may present itself just by being the first one there, or what impression you will leave on those that see you show up early. I’m glad that I have taught my son the importance of that as it will serve him well later in life. I just wish more adults would follow through and keep their word. I know out of all my close friends, they all keep their word and they show up if they say they will. What about you? Are you someone who keeps their word and follows through? If not, why? Keep others in mind, respect their time and effort as you would expect them to respect yours. Its really quite simple.