Assumptions

One of the easiest traps I see people fall into all the time is making assumptions. How can we not? We see someone act a certain way and our mind automatically jumps to a conclusion as to why they acted that way. Words are spoken or emailed and we immediately think we know the emotion and reason behind them. We get cut off on the road by a crazy driver and we instantly think they are just an asshole who doesn’t care about anyone around them. How many times are we actually correct when we make assumptions about others? I’d hazard to say we are correct probably less than half the time. Its easy and convenient, but if we are wrong about our assumptions the majority of the time, what good is it doing anyone? Can it even be doing harm to people? Without getting to know someone and why they act a certain way, it is perilous to make assumptions about the way they act or their manner of speaking. We can instantly pigeon hole them into someone they aren’t and jade our own view of them moving forward, even if it is an incorrect view.

What we should be doing is taking the time to understand others before making assumptions. And if we can’t physically get to know them because they are in the car that cuts us off and we will never see them again, then give them space and the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they legitimately didn’t see you or there is an emergency they are racing towards. But with those we can get to understand, we should have patience with them and seek to fully understand where they are coming from before we assume anything about them. I’ve had assumptions made about me that have been categorically wrong all because the other person never took the time to find out the reasoning behind more actions or words. If we take it further, why should we make assumptions anyway? What good do we actually derive from making them? Instead, we should seek to temper our own reaction, to control how we think about others and to see everyone around us as flawed and imperfect humans just like us, but humans nevertheless. We all need to be given the benefit of the doubt. Is it hard to not react and to not make assumptions? Yes, that is part of human nature as well; the quicker we make a judgement call the quicker we can ascertain whether we are dealing with a fight or flight scenario. But most of us these days are not dealing with anything remotely close to that. While it is rooted in human nature, we have largely moved past that period where we need to quickly make judgements and assumptions.

It all comes down to temperance, restraint, and self-control. If we can temper our reactions and act with restraint, we can realize that most times an assumption of others isn’t necessary. Given time and patience and a willingness on our part to learn about others, we can come to see the bigger picture and get a more global perspective of those around us. It takes a great deal of self-control to restrain ourselves sometimes, but it is a good habit to get into. Imagine if everyone had a little more restraint in their assumptions and their willingness to jump to conclusions? I feel everyone would be smiling a little more and a touch happier to boot. We would also be calmer and more prone to living a less stressful life because those around us wouldn’t be as stressed either. Lofty goals? Yes, but not unachievable.