If Only

If only parents wouldn’t their children in a certain career direction. If only children could play sports for the fun of it and not for the competition and to get scholarships. If only all parents would let children explore their interests wherever they might lead. If only we told our children that they can do whatever they want, be whatever they want, as long as they are happy. If only we all did these things, openly and honestly, imagine how much less stressed our teenagers and young adults would be? I know that some parents do all these things, we try to do these things at our house with our children. But how many parents say they do these things, but inwardly and through their actions say otherwise. I fear it is less than it should be. Then again, our academic institutions don’t help largely, funneling the majority of students into the STEM classes. Few schools make STEM into STEAM, adding the Art into the mix. So even if the parents foster exploration and contentment, it is not always reinforced in school.

I mentioned yesterday that my son admitted openly that he had no idea what he wants to do with his life, and I applaud him for saying that. No kid in the middle of their teenage years should know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. It is too young, their brains will change too much, and it is better to let their brains meander from interest to interest before it finally settles on one that truly engages it and makes the child happy. I see my son doing that, flitting around, exploring interests, finding what he likes and doesn’t like. It’s reassuring that he isn’t caving to the pressure of everyone else around him striving to get to the higher level in classes, he on the other hand stepped down a level so he could enjoy the experience more and not be stressed. For starting out school on the younger side, he has really come into his own and matured greatly. Yes, he still has a long way to go, after all, he isn’t even 15 yet, but he is well on his way.

If only school was a little more relaxed and not test and data driven, perhaps children would thrive a little more. I know there are schools out there that achieve this, but I’m talking here about the more general public schools through which the majority of children will pass. It is these schools that need to focus more on the whole child and not just getting them into college. More and more are doing it, but its an all around collaborative effort that must be sustained between the parents, the school, and the community. If only we could achieve this, I would hazard to say that while me may not have more college graduates, we will have more satisfied and happy children around us who will flourish and grow exponentially more.