I don’t know if its just me, or if other parents have had the same experience, but do teenage boys when they are 14 even have a brain? Maybe its better that I can’t remember what I was like when I was that age, I’m sure I acted similarly to the way my son is acting now, but holy shit, sometimes I wonder if the gray matter in between his ears has completely disappeared temporarily. Accompanying the awkward clumsiness that comes with growing too quickly for your brain to keep up with, it seems common sense, logic, and an ability to be human has temporarily been vanquished from his list of abilities. Not for nothing, I see a lot of myself in him, which I guess is kind of scary, but some of the questions that leave his mouth are astonishing. Often times, with many of his questions, all I have to do for an answer is stare back at him with a face that literally reads, ‘Are you kidding me right now?’. Then, usually within seconds, he giggles and says, ‘Oh, nevermind.’ Its almost like he is incapable of thinking through a question before putting his voice to it. I know, or at least I seriously hope, that he will come out of it eventually, but I don’t know if I was ever prepared for the severity of it.
Sometimes I feel like it must just be the age of 14, because he has a number of friends who are 15 and have been for some time, who are not as lacking in logical brain power as our son is. Yet, for all of that, the stupidity he exhibits often cracks me up and will have me laughing and shaking my head at the same time. For all the stress that a teenager can invoke, I do find this age to be a good one nonetheless. With all the times that he may act like a child as his brain is rewired into adulthood, it is really cool to catch the glimpses of who he might become. Its those times where the neurons line up and I see my son as an adult, his focus coming through, his attention to detail exquisite, and the love for what he is doing ultimately showing through. Those are the moments that I cherish more than anything else, because in those moments, I get the affirmation I need that my wife and I have done something right to have our son turn out the way he is. Just today, he had a brief moment of maturity where he got it in his head that he was going to build the base for his 65 pound anvil he recently got so he could get back to forging metal. He asked for my help with a few things, so I worked with him, got him set up with the ideas, got the miter saw hooked up with the vacuum and said good luck, let me know if you need any help. And I left and he was off.
A little later, he came to ask for some help, and as I was finished with moving some firewood, I went up to the barn to help. He had everything set, the anvil centered where he wanted it, and pieces of wood cut to hold it in place. I was impressed. And when something went a little awry, I talked him through simply cutting another piece and re-doing it, explaining how its not the end of the world when things aren’t perfect, but we can always try again and get them closer. Those are the moments, where his brain comes back into focus, that I truly love. I laugh at the stupid teenage moments, all too many of them, but interspersed are those moments I know I will get more of as he ages and gets more mature. So yes, I do believe that 14 year old boys lose their brains for a year or two, but I already see signs of future adult life within that ‘under construction’ brain and am truly glad to be a part of helping or son move towards adulthood.
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